i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
