idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
