Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Randomize