Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
