don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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