i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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