There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
