Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
