She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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