so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
