He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
then he tried to convert me to islam
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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