i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I need a burrito and a hug.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
