What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
