You can't motorboat a personality
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Fuck appropriateness.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
