come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
