i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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