Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
