really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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