Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize