I got her a Nickelback box set.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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