What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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