He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize