I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
