I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
