Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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