I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
