dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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