i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
