I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize