You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
We named our party play list daddy issues
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize