you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
