at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
