He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
