let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
