Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize