So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
