how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
