You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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