We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
