she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
