I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
