So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
