franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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