If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
