you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Less talking, more tequila
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
