Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
