If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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