sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
That accounts for only three of the penises
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Randomize
