I can tuck mytits in my pants
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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