she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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