How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
