White coat. Heels.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
