Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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