I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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