You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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