Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
