1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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