question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
