So drunk, too bad you don't want this
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I want her autograph on my taint
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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