I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize