its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
