then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
