haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
