girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
